See, sometimes even men get the big uglies in the bubble guts and we need to call the 911 to come gets us. Josh Hartnett called 911 and an ambulence was sent to his residence for extreme abdominal pains. For all I know the dude was trying to bust out 1000 crunches and pushed himself too far. He was able to walk to the stretcher where he was then transported to Cedars-Sinai Hospital. Speedy Recovery!

It’s finally over… the divorce is final. Personally, I never understood what Guy Ritchie saw in Madonna. Unless you factor in that he was just hedging his bets that his 15 minutes of fame would run out and Madonna was his backup plan. Gotta hand it to the guy, that’s pretty smart thinking in this industry. However, as we all know… he has had quite a few successes and his ride doesn’t look like it will be running out anytime soon so he did the next best thing: Traded in his wife for a newer model… or at least now he’s free to shop the lot. Now, I have no idea what AROD is thinking as he has a ton of money and his pick of any starlet out there. Perhaps he got tired of perfect 10’s and decided he forgot what it was like to be with an older woman. That’s what’s so great about Hollywood — it keeps you guessin!

Details below, via the BBC.

According to the British press, Madonna, 50, and Ritchie, 40, reached a settlement over money and their kids Lourdes, 12, Rocco, 8, and David, 3. London’s Evening Standard reports that Madonna will keep the bulk of her estimated $500 million fortune intact, though Ritchie was entitled by law to a share of it.

Additionally, Rocco and David will split time between the U.S. and London, while Lourdes, whose father is Carlos Leon, will live with her mother.

“[Madonna] walked away without any of his money, much to her credit,” a friend told the U.K.’s Times. “He has done the same.”

“He could have hugely boosted his bank balance and set himself up for life, but he already feels he has enough money,” another pal told the paper. “He also didn’t want the whole thing dragging on in the public gaze for months and months and, in any case, his priority was the children’s future.”

But a source close to the couple insists that’s not true. “He’s going to get a huge windfall, contrary to what’s being reported,” the source tells PEOPLE. “He’s getting a lot of money from the settlement. He’s not the gentleman he’s portraying himself as.”

Madonna and Ritchie were married in 2000, shortly after the birth of their son, Rocco. Since splitting last month, Madonna has been linked with baseball star Alex Rodriguez.

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GossipBoulevard On-the-Go March 7th

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-New mom Christina Aguilera revealing she wants her baby son to be a rock star.