Chris Brown, oh how I loathe thee. You seem to make almost as many bone-headed PR moves as Katie Price. In fact, maybe you can slap some sense into her. HAR HAR. Slap some sense into her, get it… cuz Chris Brown likes to slap chicks, and Katie Price needs some good sense? Jeez, do I have to explain everything to you people.
Chris Brown once told me a joke and I remember it to this day. He told me: “Chorizo, what do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes”. I told him: “Gee Chris, I’m not sure. What do you tell her?”. His response? “Nothing man, you already told her twice!”
Chris is a funny guy too, you see. To celebrate the fact that he didn’t have to do any jail time, he also danced his ass off in public not even 8 hours after his sentencing.
Chris Brown stunned onlookers by performing a Michael Jackson dance hours after being sentenced for assaulting Rihanna.
The 20-year-old singer – who received six months community labour and five years probation after pleading guilty to the February attack – was at Hollywood nightclub Guys and Dolls on Tuesday evening (25.08.09), where he gave an energetic rendition of Michael’s hit ‘Dirty Diana’.
An onlooker said: “He stood up on the back of the booth when the song came on, got a mic and not only sung, but danced his a*s off. He didn’t seem to care at all that everyone was watching him. He was in a totally good mood, just hanging out with his buddies. Then all of a sudden he decided to put on a little show.”
After his performance, Chris said: “There was only one ‘King of Pop’. We love you, Michael.”
For his 1,400 hours community labour, Chris – who punched, bit and choked his on/off girlfriend in his car on February 8 – will have to remove graffiti and wash cars.
He was also ordered to go to domestic violence classes for a year and is not allowed to contact Rihanna for five years.
Chris has to pay fines and will have to undergo random searches and seizures.
Meanwhile, it has been claimed Chris has recorded a no-holds-barred interview with US talk show host Larry King, in which he is quizzed about the assault.
The interview is set to be aired next week.
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Who else likes Chris’s joke?