Miley Cyrus and The Jonas Brothers have already publicly declared their love for the Big Guy upstairs, wearing rings on their wedding fingers to show their marriage to God, and symbolize the fact they are saving themselves for their wedding night.  Yesterday at what might have been the most interesting moment of the VMA’s (seriously, did you see them?), host Russel Brand made fun of the Jonas Brothers and their chastity pledge.

Jordan Sparks then took to the stage to present an award and she fumed into the mic “”I just wanna say, it’s not bad to wear a promise ring because not every guy and a girl wants to be a slut, OK?”.

Jordan Sparks has it on good moral authority that if you have relations before marriage, you are a slut.

Brand later apologized to the Jonas Bothers, so long as you define apologizing by just insulting them again.  He said he was sorry, but then added “A bit of sex occasionally never hurt anybody.”  Haha! That’s like punching someone and saying “I’m sorry about that. But seriously, you’re a jerk.”

Millions of 12 year old girls are now plotting Russel Brand’s demise.

Click here for a Jonas-ly Biased YouTube video

*Note: the funniest part of the whole thing? Seeing Jordin Sparks next to John Legend. She looks like she could unhinge her jaw and swallow him whole.

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