Nicole Richie’s ex fiancé, DJ AM sat down with Glamour magazine and gave them an in depth interview about his dark childhood, his drug addiction, and his failed suicide attempt. The deejay to the stars, whose real name is Adam Goldstein, suffered abuse from his father until he was kicked out of his parent’s house at the age of 14. He said, “I spent the next two years doing drugs every day, until I went to my mom and actually asked her to send me to rehab.” He continued, “When I was 20, I started freebasing cocaine. For the next four years, that’s about all I did - with the exception of DJing. At 24, I felt like my life was over.” He put a loaded gun in his mouth, “But the gun didn’t go off.” Goldstein has been drug and alcohol free for almost a decade now but says he’s “still an addict.”

On his suicide attempt: “I went into my living room, reached into a cabinet above my TV and grabbed my gun, a loaded .22,” recalls the now 34-year-old. “I sat back on my heels, cocked it and put it into my mouth. I pulled the trigger. The gun didn’t go off. I thought, ‘Are you kidding me? I’m such an [expletive] failure I can’t even kill myself? I dropped the gun and broke down. That was the turning point in my life.”

On his relapse :”I had to start all over again. But at that point I had no choice – it was recover or die.” A relationship breakup with an unidentified girlfriend made him start eating again, but with time he gained the self-confidence to kick his overindulgent habits. “I no longer needed a trophy girlfriend or drugs to feel good about myself,” he says. “It’s been nine and a half years since I’ve had a drink or taken drugs. But every day I have to remind myself that no matter how much time I have behind me, I’m still a drug addict. At any given moment, I’m five seconds away from walking up to someone, grabbing their drink out of their hand and downing it. And if I do that, within a week, tops, I’ll be smoking crack.”

[Source: Glamour magazine]

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